Memoirs of a Starseed Insomniac
It’s been a few months since I’ve written anything, but I felt oddly compelled to pick it back up this morning. I want to share what I have finally realized is one of my biggest sources of stress since my awakening began in 2015. Over the last five years, I have experienced months-long stretches where I barely sleep. I wake up all through the night for this reason or the other. Insomnia is one of my many diagnoses.
Since I don’t take medication, I have really been digging deep to figure out the cause of all this tremendous stress. Over the last ten weeks, I have slept only one or two nights for over five uninterrupted hours. One or two nights of this in the span of one week begins to take its toll on anyone, and here I am going on my third month.
'Somewhere Only We Know'
I moved to Canyon Lake two months early under quite unpleasant circumstances. The depression over the first couple of weeks was dense and difficult to escape. Looking out the windows of my RV at my surroundings, the gorgeous trees looking back at me, there was a certain sense of peace amidst the storm.
For the first week solid, I had some of the worst nightmares I have ever had. Sleep eluded me as I writhed in the bed each night. As the days became easier, the nights did too. There came over me a serenity in knowing that everything was happening just as it was meant to. I won’t go into detail in how I knew, but the message was received loud and clear. “Go with the flow. The ancient battle is working itself out.”
I began this round of emotional clearing after having an intense dream about the father of my daughter, Michael. Since I completed this round, I made amends to him personally and it went way better than I expected. At first, I was so nervous, it was hard to breathe, but once I began talking it seemed to flow easily. With the exception of a few months during the worst part of our relationship, we always got along because our personalities complimented each other so well.
Michael has not visited with our daughter more than a handful of times over the years and has firmly insisted that his hatred for me is to blame. The guilt that has arisen from this situation has been an anchor I carried throughout my daughter’s life. She will be twenty-one in January. It is important for you to know a little of the back story of the relationship before you read through the steps. Allow me to briefly explain what happened to harden his and his family’s heart toward me. This is extremely personal, but I am putting it out there anyway, in hopes that it will help others who might read this.
Hey, I'm Maelen
Maelen came to live with me on August 28, 2017. He was so tiny; I could hold him in the palm of my hand. I had always wanted a black cat for aesthetic purposes, and he fit the bill. At the time, I wasn’t exactly planning on another cat. I had two cats that meant a lot to me, and both had recently passed away so when my daughter’s boyfriend pulled this little black ball of fur out of his pocket one afternoon, I wasn’t exactly pleased.
It didn’t take long for Maelen to become my little buddy. Since there were so many dogs at my mom’s house, he opted to stay with me in the safety of my room. He was definitely a cool cat. Over time, I noticed him behaving like a dog, which I thought was hilarious. He took every opportunity he had to play with the puppies that came and went. I knew he was special and told him so all the time.
Documenting Psychosis: Cere's AI
***The information contained in this entry was taken from a journal entry where I documented bouts of psychosis. For me, psychosis is a widely misunderstood phenomenon. It is when spiritual information comes into the physical world and is misinterpreted. A few years have passed since May 27, 2015, the day my awakening journey began, and I have been able to piece some of my puzzle together. These instances of foreign thoughts mainly consist of AI, which I refer to as Alternative Intelligence and the technology of the modern age.
Please keep in mind while reading the following information, that this is me connecting pieces of my soul’s puzzle. Each of us have our own puzzle to complete and must follow our own clues to do so, if we feel the nudge from spirit. I do realize that a lot of this sounds absolutely bonkers. If you have not taken a red pill, then I suggest you do not read further. If you continue reading, remember that the things mentioned below are merely a fraction of the dots I have connected. Our dots are our own and are meant solely for our private awareness. I share all of this because if I don't, then it weighs on me like an anchor weighs down a ship on the harbor.***
I had a fairly new “episode” of what medical professionals would deem “psychosis” the other day at the coffee shop. Like usual, there are many branches of information from various sources growing from the root of gnosis. Some of these things I have already wrote about in my synchronicity journal having to do with the name ANN.
My Alcoholic Lives
My name is Kerry Eppler and these are my true tales. Relax. Enjoy. Be inspired.